He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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