Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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