Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
