Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sarcasm needs its own font
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
