i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love having hate sex.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
