My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
