In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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