So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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