After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
