If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
