windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
