i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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