I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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