let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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