Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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