I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
