I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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