dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You're like the curious george of whores
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
