They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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