They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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