how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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