I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
