it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
