So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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