if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I didn't notice because vodka
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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