When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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