she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
