Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
