I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
