he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
