so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
