Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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