He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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