hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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