she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
