So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
