Non-Jews are for practice
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You're like the curious george of whores
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
