I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
