Do you still have your period?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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