My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
