Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
