Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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