'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
