you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How naked do you want me to be?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
