I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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