Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
