I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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