At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
