So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
