So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
